admiration

you want to know who i admire in my life? well regardless i'm going to type it out. i admire my sister. i admire my brother. they have this idea of themselves that seems to me unshakeable. that's not to say they dont have doubts and haven't looked at themselves in the mirror, but to me they both have a quality that say they know where they see themselves in life. my sister wanted to be a teacher since the moment she talked, well since i was in the second grade at least. and that's exactly what she did, became a teacher, a second grade teacher no less. i admired that in her at such a young age she decided for herself where her life was going to go. she questions if this is where she will stay but that is not the point, its that she made a decision and worked till it became her reality. where she goes from here is her decision.

my brother (step if you want the distinction) but he i admire because he says what he thinks/believe/feels. that's not to say it hasn't gotten him in situations we would rather avoid but i would never say that he wasn't true to himself. and he's always accepted the responsibility and consequences for those actions. he too developed an idea of where he wants to see his life and that is what he works on right now. but its that declaration that i will say without a filter, i can't do that. i think too much to not pay attention to the words i say. and the words i dont say.

i admire vision. i admire saying the words i wouldn't. i admire those who aren't like me. yeah, that's who i admire. i think the world of them both. they make me proud anytime i can talk about them, i hope one day i can make them proud. and not because we're family or i'm the older brother. i hope to be able to accomplish and succeed the way i see them in life, i hope i can be bigger than myself for them.